Loving my Insurance Company (at the moment)

Well, it was bound to happen at some point, given the sheer number of claims and dealings I have had with our insurance companies over the years. I am finally H.A.P.P.Y. with my insurance company for one brief singular reason.

For someone unknown reason (and although they are covering zilch of the actual invitro process), they have decided to cover ALL of my drugs and paraphenelia. (minus, of course, the appropriate co-pays).

I cannot tell you what a tremendous blessing this is. We were anticipating being out of pocket A LOT (I'll leave out the specific number - but if you've done this before, you know how ridiculously expensive it is just for the meds.) Well, and now, it's considerably less than that.

I heart Freedom Fertility Pharmacy. Seriously.

The woman who initially called to go over all my medicines was so incredibly patient with me, as I painstakingly had her spell out every single med she was giving me, dose, cost and all. Even though I know I will get a detailed list from the doctor when we have our "learn how to inject Meagan in the butt & stomach" consultation, I still wanted to have it in hand to do my proper research prior to that appointment (meaning "Google" everything on list and cross-check with webmd)

I know you all are shocked by that little admission..

Actually, I have a love/hate relationship with web.md. Whenever I am experiencing any type of weirdo illness or symptoms, I go to web.md and immediately am hit with some sort of terrible, debilitating diagnosis and so starts the paranoia - until I go to the dr. and he gives me the much less upsetting news of "acid reflux" or "gas". ha.

But actually, if you need to look up drugs, it's quite handy. As I am allergic to all sorts of meds as I have previously mentioned (and half the time, doctors and/or pharmacists don't seem to complete their due diligence in checking my patient records (no offense to anyone, but that has been a common experience for me), I have often taken to web.md to search for my prescribed medications and ensure that I won't be swelling up like the Michelin Man if I take an antiobiotic.

However, freedom.pharmacy beat me to it this time. They called this morning and told me they couldn't order one of my drugs because I could potentially be allergic to it. Sure enough, I looked it up and it's a tetracycline and a derivative of "Minocycline" -- which provided me one of the worst allergic reactions in recent history. We are talking n.a.s.t.y. I'll spare you the graphic details but I wouldn't go through that again, even to have a baby. That's how bad it was.

And now that I have completely bored all my readers (all 4 of you) this morning, without further ado, may I present the list o' meds that I will be injecting, swallowing, inserting, patching, or shoving in my body in the upcoming weeks. You can tell I am thrilled. Honestly, when she gave me the list, I was just blown away. My rather simple synopsis of the process in the previous post was pretty misguided. I knew I was simplifying it - but darn, I didn't know just how much this was all going to require.

As I told the pharmacist on the phone, I feel it was somewhat (ok, a lot) snarky for my fertility doc to only order one Valium to take on transfer day.

Because after getting this list and the retail price tag associated with it, it only seemed fair that they should immediately overnnight an extra Valium for me so I could recover from the shock. In fact, they probably shouldn't call you until you have the 2nd Valium in hand with a glass of water on the side.

And I believe that's why people become drug addicts.

That, and the fact that out of this entire list, the Valium tablet registered as the 2nd lowest in cost (only to be trumped by the ONE 800 mg Motrin) - and rang in at a whopping 95 cents. Pretty cheap to become addicted to I guess (relatively speaking) -- I'm not real up on the going price of illegal or legal drugs these days.

Oh, the list...here ya go... in no particular order.

1. 8 pre-filled Ganirelix syringes

2. 1 Gonal F 900 unit pen

3. 20 vials Menopur

4. 44 qty, 22-guage syringes

5. 2 qty , 1 1/2 27-guage needles

6. 20 tables Vibramycin (to be subbed for something that won't cause me to look like I have leprosy)

7. 1 vial HCG

8. 12 qty, 1/2" 27-guage needles

9. 3 vials progrestorone in ethylfoliate (50mg)

10. 30 qty, 1 1/2" 25-guage needles

11. 90 tablets F-Trace

12. 16 patches Vivelle

13. 16 tablets Medrol

14. 1 lone tablet of Valium

15. 1 measly Motrin (800 mg) tablet

16. 1 Sharps Disposal Biohazard needle/syringe drop box thingie so I don't accidentally injure any of our hardworking garbage men.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that b/c of the quantity of meds ordered, freedom is nice enough to "throw the needles in complimentary".

Which really is lovely of them.

Considering that drug addicts can find "needle exchange" programs and get clean needles to continue to inject illegal drugs into their collapsed veins, it really only seems right that I should get "complimentary" needles when we are just trying to ensure the family tree on our side doesn't completely collapse from the weight of infertility.

Happy Monday, y'all! I'll do my best to give you a non-infertility related post later this week. Outside of just calling an insane number of 1-800 numbers to talk to all sorts of reps from insurance companies, talking to my fertility nurse, crunching numbers in my online checkbook to figure out payment options, oh yeah, and working - these past couple of weeks have been really fun - I've just been lazy about writing the stories and uploading the pics. But they're coming.

B/c I even bored myself during this post. I'm so sorry you all were subjected to the infertility babble that sometimes takes over my mind when I go to write this blog. If you read this entire thing to even make it to the above apology - then good for you - and you must be a good friend :) (or you are my mother)

And the Official Countdown Begins!

So we received word on Friday (ie: in the form of nature's appearance of Aunt Flo) - that our "official timeline" is off and running for this invitro thing. When I got the news, I was all at once overwhelmed, excited, anxious, but most of all thrilled that we now have a path to walk on. With directions. So grateful.

So here's the plan as I understand it:

3 weeks birth control pills (check, already started on Sunday)

Sept. 30th - baseline test (still not sure what all of this encompasses but assumes that it means your body is ready to accept all of the thousand dollar lupron shots into your abdomen

Sept 30th - Oct. 9th - Lupron shot plus other hormones every day

Oct. 10 evening - trigger

Oct. 12 morning - Harvest/retrieve the eggs ---- pray pray pray for lots of mature ones!!

Oct. 17th morning - transfer of embroyos - pray pray pray that Matt and I's "stuff" gets along really really well for 5 days in the petri dish - we want lots of blasts people (meaning, the really good, grade A, like supermarket fresh egg/embroyos)

So, if all goes well and stays according to timeline, we should know by the end of October, beginning of November if it worked or not. We will see. And pray a whole lot between now and then.

For now, I am focusing on getting healthy - lots of folic acid (haven't missed one in 3 weeks), plus a multi vitamin, trying to get a lot of sleep, going for long jogs, eating healthy, the works. I guess the worst part is the unknown. I really don't know how I am going to feel once these hormones start racing through my body.

I read on my birth control pack (and remember I haven't taken "the pill" in over 7 years) that "it may cause weight gain or it may cause weight loss" or it "may cause for acne to improve or acne to worsen".

Hmmm, so I could get fat but have great skin.

Stay the same weight but have bad skin

Or get fat and have bad skin ---

Or the very best option - stay the same size & have good skin :)

ha. we'll see.. .only a neurotic like me thinks like that.

I'm going to go invest in some very comfortable target pj pants one size too big & a brand new facial cleansing mask just in case the worst option comes to fruition.

On a side note: When I went to pick up my pills at the pharmacy on Friday (in Plano, I was already heading to Dallas when I started my period) - they told me that the insurance wouldn't refill it b/c it had been too soon since my last refill.

First, who "OD"s on birth control pills?

Second, I haven't taken the pill IN SEVEN FREAKIN YEARS.

WTH? After being patient and polite for what I deemed an acceptable time, I finally had to sort of flip out --- "look, I HAVE to start this pill on Sunday. The end. It's for my fertility cycle and it will mess the whole thing up if I don't have the pill for Sunday. Tomorrow is Saturday. My doctor has already left for the day. Please, please do something so I can get at least 2 pills to get through Sunday and Monday until you guys can straighten it out.

Seriously, you would have thought I was asking for high-dose morphine or whatever insane drugs MJ shot up his veins.

Finally, I think she realized how panic stricken I was (and hormonal --- I am on my period remember?), and got it taken care of. So I am a brand new holder of a fresh pack of bcp's. Feel like I am back in college again. How cute.

But seriously, if I flipped out like that over pills with hardly any hormones in my system - I can only imagine what's going to happen to the poor people who get in my way during the rest of this process. It 'aint going to be pretty :)

But with all the complaining about the meds, and the schedule and the money - I know it is so worth it - no doubt stressful, but incredibly and totally worth it. That much Matt and I know otherwise we wouldn't be going to these lengths. This is totally the path for us.

Soooo...bottom line - yay for having our schedule now :) I will try to write more fun posts than just hormonal, "I feel like crap" posts in the next 6 weeks. We'll see :)

Thank you for taking his journey with us. Please keep our little future Clanahan in your prayers. Bless you all.

I.N.S.O.M.N.I.A.

Insomnia and I are fighting a battle this week. And well, let's see, given that it is 1:26am and I am pounding out a blog post, I'd say she's winning. I really don't even have anything blog-worthy except for this silent demon that is stealing away my precious zzzzz's.

I go through these phases of insomnia. For months I'll be fine and be able to sleep when my hubby knocks out (well, I may read or watch tv for a little bit until he gives me that final unapproving groan that is my signal that it's time to shut it down).

And then I will go through these "sleep droughts" we'll call them --- where sleep at night just escapes me. And inevitably I need to take a nap in the afternoons which obviously just prolongs the cycle.

So I've been dealing with this latest round for about a week and it was aggravated by the new meds my dr gave me for my newest addition to my body - a golf to tennis ball-sized cyst on my ovary.

Yes. Again.

I know. I need to get preggers immediately.

Hopefully this is the last one. If aunt flow would just come for her monthly visit ON TIME for once, then we can get this whole thing going - get on the birth control pills and then the cysts will be g.o.n.e. (and I apologize to anyone reading this who is tired of hearing about my ovaries/uterus/period, etc -- it has kind of taken over my world now. ha!)

But thank God "the pill" should help. I've had enough of prescription motrin, tylenol or whatever else they can give me. That and the fact my heating pad has been permanent attached to my body for the last 4 days. In 96 degree heat. Oh, that's just fabulous. I highly recommend sweating your a*# off in your own home. Plus, you know our AC isn't below 80 during the day, so I have been just a beauty queen.

Excuse me while I wipe a sweat droplet off my keyboard.

Am I too young for hot flashes?

Anyway, the meds seem to aggravate my insomnia - most people get drowsy - but we all know that I am not normal, so of course, I get hyper. The other night I was so keyed up that I literally never went to bed. Until 8am the next morning. The advantage? I was able to complete about 5 hours of my work "day" and knock out a whole bunch of projects that I had been dreading. Plus, I even wrote the weekly e-newsletter - including 5 or 6 pretty detailed articles.

Not so sure that was a hot idea considering I re-read it the next morning and had to correct about 5 run-on sentences, 7 major grammatical infractions, and 34 misspelled words.

Ahhh, the benefits of being a virtual office employee.

Tonight I was certain I would be able to sleep --- I didn't catch a nap today (not w/o lack of trying but the schedule just didn't work out in my favor - the nerve!), plus I had a big ole dinner of pasta and bread and all things carbs and deliciousness. All signs pointed in my favor.

Sure as rain, I fell asleep quickly even before the news came on. Only to be woken up by something at midnight - just 2 1/2 hours later. FRUSTRATING.

So now, my sweet husband sleeps by himself as I play on the computer. My sweet husband, by the way, who has no problem falling asleep whatsoever. He can be talking 100 miles a minute and then "Tired" just smacks him in the face and he is gone in about 90 secoonds. I am envious.

So needless to say he doesn't really get the whole insomnia thing. He just thinks I need to close my eyes and count sheep and see where that gets me. I know where that gets me. That gets me to 1,000 sheep 1 hour later, wide-awake wondering about the 1,000 sheep and where do I put them now?

I can only imagine that this latest onset of insomnia is partially due to the whole invitro thing starting up soon. The process begins this month and even though I feel ready, I know my mind is still stressing over it. Plus, as we've covered before, patience is not a quality on the top of my list so the waiting game doesn't exactly do it for me. But before I know it, I'll be on all sorts of hormones and Matt will be shooting me up.

Actually, I don't even want to think about him shooting me up yet - on top of insomnia, if I am fortunate enough to fall asleep, then I'll have nightmares about that. He is so going to have to practice on an orange or some other type of fleshy fruit before he touches my flesh with that needle.

The Anniversary

So tomorrow marks the 4 year anniverary of Hurricane Katrina.

Or "Big K" as I like to refer to her.

It seems my life is marked by "BK" or "AK" (Before Katrina or After Katrina).

I think a lot of people in LA and the Gulf Coast probably have that same timeline.

So, 4 years ago - Matt and I were restlessly trying to sleep in Alexandria, LA -- having left before the storm at the last possible second. Listening to the news --- hearing Anderson Cooper and other squak boxes in the background counting down the hours and minutes until the storm touched land.

And then it hit. With a massive roar.

And we knew it was bad.

So after evaluating options, we decided the best thing was to drive to Dallas -- after seeing the hurricane track, we were pretty confident we wouldn't have to be back at work for a couple of days. We made our way to Dallas - pretty much with the smallest suitcase I had ever packed, plus our newly adopted dog Max and all of his paraphenelia. (We had him less than 6 days at this point)

And that's what we thought -- it was a break from work. Wind damage likely. Roads would be blocked. And yay :) The bank would be closed for at least a couple of days.

Never did we imagine the devestation. And we never thought flood waters would take over our little place like they did.

(Insert pics here --- if it wasn't so late, I would upload a few pics - but it is late and I am lazy at the moment - so this is my reminder!)

So, some have heard our story - others haven't. But I'll keep it brief.

We lost our home.

I say that and people automatically assume we came back to a foundation and nothing else.

Let me clarify --- we came back to a mud-filled, nasty molded-out mess where 4-5 feet of flood water once resided. A home that was shuttered and no light or air was let in for 10 days.

F.U.N.K.Y.

That ruins a home by the way.

We were able to salvage some stuff. Most being in the attic. The rest (clothes, all furniture, pictures, appliances) - g.o.n.e.

It is with only a 4 year perspective and a recent trip back to Slidell that I can finally say -- what a blessing.

Now I know that seems twisted - and I do realize that others (probably many others) do not feel like their lives are better off since Katrina. We are among the lucky few.

B.K. - Matt and I were just living lives as happy newlyweds - just bought our first place on our own, our jobs were good.. but looking back, it was just kind of empty. We had just a couple of good friends (that we still keep in touch with today) but besides that - not much else. We worked, we went out to eat, we worked out, we had fun --- but that was it.

A.K. - We had a to do a sudden about-face on the lives we were living. They weren't bad, they just weren't full. We lost a lot... A LOT... in that storm. And to this day, I still mourn this wonderful pair of grey sweatpants from GAP of all places that flared just right, curved the butt just right - man, I miss those...

But we learned that possessions are just that.

Possessions.

We like to have them - hell, we even love to have them. Sometimes we worship them.

And that's where we were. We had all this STUFF. And it was OURS. And no.one should be able to take that away from us.

But here's where we aren't in control.

When God says enough. is enough.

And for us that was the case.

It was humbling the core.

Crushing on many levels.

The scars still remain.

Proof point: anytime a storm even breaks off of the African coastline I start to panic. I didn't stay for Katrina, but I did for Ike (in Houston) - and that being a Hurricane 1 or 2 just scared the bejeesus out of me.

But the point is: and I can honestly say this without resentment or bitterness --- we are better off having gone through that. We learned so much about each other. We saw the good in each other -- we saw A LOT of the bad :) But we somehow made this thing work.

And now with our life in Houston - I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. We are content. We are peaceful. We love our home but are not attached to it. We like our "stuff" but if it was gone tomorrow it wouldn't be the national tragedy that it would have been previously.

Don't get me wrong - I am still human - if my closet were to get wiped out (again) tomorrow..I would not be a happy camper. I am not a saint! But I also have a teeny tiny perspective that there is more to life than that.

Namely, my relationship with my husband...irreplaceable.

My friends. Those who have stuck with them through the last 4 toughest years of my life. They know who they are. I love them each so much for their support & love.

My family - my brother specifically --- who made the first foray down to our house in Slidell with Matt to evaluate the damage. It's a good thing he doesn't read this blog, b/c if he did, he would vehemently deny it, but the boy cried when he saw our neighborhood and the state of our house. And bawled when the Red Cross Truck came by to give them rations while they were cleaning up.

My Dad, who wanted so desperately to help Matt make the inaugural trip back but couldn't -- so instead loaded him up with a shot gun and various types of shells for the "just in case". And stayed glue to the television for days and days to give up updates.

My mom, who was our support system at home. Who was still not only worried for Matt & I's home but obviously and rightfully so, way more concerned about the health of her brother (who chose to stay behind in Covington, LA at the family house) --- I can't remember now how many days it was until we heard he was okay... but it was days. He literally had to chop tree after tree after tree by hand to make it to the main road to let his family know he was ok.

That's real life.

The rest, is just really secondary. And really really really secondary.

Matt and I were driving to dinner tonight and talking the usual "can you believe it's been 4 years?" talk.. It's usually talk like "wow, can you believe it's been 7 1/2 years since we met?" or 1 1/2 year since you quit the bank?" or "wow, it's been 6 days since we've..."

well... you get the picture :)

But tonight was poignant. Not sad. But poignant.

I pray so much for those other families who are still recovering and haven't found the peace in their situation. I ask that God continues to give them grace, strength and fortitude to make it through the darkness.

I could write a book on how blessed we were that the chips fell where they did. We weren't like everyone. But in many ways, we were just like everyone.

We just came away differently. Life is so unfair in many ways.

But for us... unfair worked out just right :) We are right where we need to be. I can finally say that with full thankfulness, passion and without regret or longing.

So, I won't wish everyone a Happy Katrina Anniversary, cause that's kind of tacky - but more of a blessing for you all still struggling - may today be a day where you can celebrate the successes, even the smallest of ones, laugh at the messes, cheers to survival, and prayers for a better year to come. And I also pray, that one year, hopefully in the near future, I won't glance at the calendar and see the date of Aug. 29th and obviously shudder. May we all respect the date, but here's to hoping that one day the reaction will not be so visceral but one of an "awww" moment. That's going to take time. and probably even more time after that.

But on that note, I have to go pull out my bread to "stale" overnight - in honor of the anniversary, I am going to attempt my first bread pudding - a classic New Orleans dish. Wish me luck!

Hugs & laissez les bons temps roulez,

Unbalanced

As long as I can remember, I have been completely unbalanced.

Meaning I go at 100mph for some things and die at 0mph for others. A plus for those things I work on at 100mph... and well, the 0 mph things - you'll find me sleeping soundly (cheesy Lifetime movie in the background) without a care in the world.

I am the Queen of an unbalanced lifestyle.

From birth.

I went from creeping to walking at 9 months old. Just completely skipped crawling. And not just walking - we will call it a full-ahead sprint - usually ended by my careening into the coffee table and bouncing off.

The way I guess I looked at it as a baby, I would so much rather skip the stages - and go right to the cool stuff.

Which pretty much defines me.

Not much patience for the little details.

I sink myself into whatever the project is of the moment and completely immerse myself in it. Won't let go of it until it is finished and absolutely perfect (or so I think).

Admirable?

Maybe?

Most likely... insanity

Few examples:

1. In soccer growing up - I was not happy until I was at the front of the 2 mile run - not for pride or anything like that, but I figured if I was going to be there, I might as well go full out. That carried with me for the rest of the years of my competitive playing.

2. High School - studying for tests that made no sense to me (calculus,physics, etc) --- my brain doesn't work that way, but I was determined to get it down. Repeated, wrote, re-wrote formulas everywhere. Studied until all hours of the night until I was sure I had it. The 'rents would beg for me to go to sleep. I had the only parents who had to tell their kid to quit studying already.

Don't remember a darn thing now though.

3. Everyday life- My life consists of these main ingredients: God, work, husband, work, house, work, work, work-out, etc. I even eat the same unbalanced meals for breakfast and lunch every.single.day. Turkey sandwich and cheetos (baked, of course) with a diet coke.

I know. It's gross to some of you to even think of eating a sandwich for breakfast (that doesn't have breakfast sausage or something on it) but considering that I am allergic to eggs, lactose intolerant and some other less flattering things, breakfast is a tough meal for me. But I have eaten that little combo, every day, oh for a good 6 months now.

Unbalanced.

I need some hobbies. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know. I don't have a stellar resume for hobbies:

1. I kill plants. Quickly. And I don't like to water.

2. I played co-ed soccer for 2 semesters when I was 27. Way too old. Spent a combo of 2 nights in the hospital, so that's not gonna work.

3. I.AM.NOT.CRAFTY. - I used to pretend when I was little , always asking for the neatest and most up to date craft kits, making pot holders, etch -a-sketch, spin art, tie-dyed, paper mache... but alas, not for me. My idea of crafty is running into Target, grabbing a bag, a cute tag, perhaps a ribbon and oh, gosh - we have ourselves homemade gift wrap. (I know about 3 of my followers just had a hernia reading that.)

So I am open to suggstions --- given the uncertainity of the next few months, I can't so much be tied down but need something to entertain myself.

Proof point: I went to the gym like a PSYCHO 8 DAYS IN A ROW. AND ran something like 30 miles total. Today was my first day off.

See, that's me in a nutshell. Go all the way or don't go at all.

I need balance!!!! HELP!!

The Gnome

Did I really just title a post, "The Gnome"? But really that's all that needs to be said.

In our little foray to the East Coast (ie: Hilton Head), we made a brief pit stop in Slidell.

Home for the Clanahan's for 2 years until Katrina wiped it all away. Actually that turned out to be a blessing in disguise, but that's another post for another day.

After stopping at Southside, one of our favorite eateries when we lived there --- we made the quick trek over to the old stompin' grounds.

Kind of amazing what we saw. The old high school, Salmen, was being raised up on huge pillars --- our first apartment buildings were now condos, buildings were completely gone and left with only the concrete foundations...still...after all this time.

Matt and I had not been back to Slidell together since he last saw the condo prior to sale in '06. So this was quite the trip down memory lane.

Finally after gasping about what we were seeing and recalling on Pontchartrain Dr (and remember, this is FOUR years later) - we made the turn down to our old neighborhood.

And OMG, thank goodness we don't live there anymore. We bought the condo/duplex when the subdivision was just being developed. House prices in Slidell were crazy, so this was about all we could afford. But it was ours. And cute. When we lived there.

But now --- not so cute. The place has gone completely downhill. Lots that were supposed to be developed --- never built on. Landscaping, gone. Trees in disarray. Signage broken. Gates non-functioning.

And actually the gates thing was a blessing for us cause we got to mosy right in.

I immediately jumped out of the car with the camera when we pulled in to the drive to take pics of the old homestead.

Suddenly, I heard this excited, yet sort of horrified whisper/shout from my husband.

"MEAGAN!!!!!!!!!!!"

Geez, I just about jumped out of my freaking skin.

"What the H?" I replied (thinking that any moment the current homeowner was jumping out of the bushes with a loaded AK-47 or something).

"The gnome", he said.

"What about the freaking yard gnome"? (Oh, he has LOST it. He has been driving for 6 hours straight, exhausted poor thing and now he is talking about gnomes)

"It's mine!!!!", the excited whisper came again.

Oh my goodness. Are you serious???

And it all came rushing back to me.

The same yard gnome that Matt's college buds had bought him as a JOKE for his birthday.

The same yard gnome that trekked with us to our first apartment in Slidell and found a perma-place on the balcony, far away from any peering eyes.

The same gnome that staked out a far spot on the corner of our patio in our new condo.

The same gnome that was completely abandoned and forgotten about once the storm hit and all was lost. It didn't even make the insurance claim (and everything made the claim - down to every last pair of underwear and socks I owned).

And this lady had his gnome for all the world to see in the prime spot of her/our flower bed.

How did we know it was ours (His)?

Good question.

One thing we do recall after the storm was the gnome must have hit the pillar of our house from either the wind or the flood and the tip was broken off his little hat.

So once Matt saw the concrete junk, I mean gnome, with his little hat broken, he knew it was the original and one and only. (and I stress, ONE AND ONLY)

Before I knew it, Matt was ringing the doorbell to check and see if the lady was home. She was not. (We were able to peer inside the house though and much to our relief it really looks like she has kept things up - all looked great inside!!)

After no answer, and a couple of quick, furtive glances around the neighborhood, Matt told me to haul a*$ and get in the car.

You can only guess what he did next.

My sweet little innocent husband, who really didn't even drink until he was of legal age and has broken very few laws (including speeding limits) in his lifetime, hoisted that gnome over his shoulder and tossed it in the back of the getaway car.

Yup - we stole back our gnome.

And that bad boy traveled with us all the way to South Carolina and back.

Sadly (for Matt), the gnome has been resigned to the garage. He will likely not see the light of day in Houston.

But he's back. The gnome is back. And we have rescued another part of our lives that Katrina took.

Score: Katrina 1,000 Clanahan's: 25

Little Miracles

It has been so incredibly crazy trying to get back into the swing of things after our 10 day cross-country drive but I promise a vacation post is coming soon!! We had such a fabulous, relaxing time - much needed, I might add. I have tons of pics and stories, I just need to get my act together to blog about them.

But in the meantime, I would like to share that 2 of our friends had their little miracle girl today!!! Congratulations, y'all! We are so thrilled about your little blessing.

I must say when I saw the pictures posted today, I just started sobbing. For all good reasons. No resentment, jealously or anything like that.

Just simple, joyful crying.

They actually experienced the EXACT SAME problems that Matt & I have faced, so to see two people, whom we actually know, go down the same path we are about to embark on, AND have success in such an awesome way --- well, WOW.

There are no words.

Selfishly, it gives me tremendous peace and comfort, knowing that we are doing the perfect thing for us. I am certain of that today more than ever.

And now I will repeat a scripture that my friend Amy has consistently reminded me of during our journey:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11)

Blessings to our sweet little friends and their sweet new arrival!