Gone is any decision making ability I previously possessed. For the last few weeks, I have noticed I am unable to have an opinion on almost everything. This is so unlike me. I have always been somewhat impulsive and once I decided to do something, it was full speed ahead - darn the consequences in some instances.
It's served us well in the past I guess - we bought our home here in Houston after just 7 hours of looking, never to look back. I picked out the tile, paint color, cabinet stain, crown molding, etc in just a matter of an hour or so. And I still like it.
When I go grocery shopping, I usually go with a list but I am never afraid to deviate if I see something that strikes my fancy. I just throw it in the cart and don't really think about it.
Now, I am almost paralyzed.
The grocery store has become a form of torture. I walk back and forth from aisle to meat counter back to aisle back to meat counter, just trying to decide what dinner's going to be. Yesterday, I did something I've never done... I was all set thinking we were going to have steak and potatoes upon entry to the grocery store. Well, I got to the meat counter and instead of steak, I opted for some stuffed chicken breasts.
After perusing the aisles a bit more and doing some serious thinking, I decided that stuffed chicken breasts were not going to be acceptable and I wanted steak instead. So I headed back for the meat counter and handed back my package of chicken breasts to the butcher and asked for 2 ribeyes instead. The bewildered butcher looked at me like no one had ever returned meat to the counter before - and all I could do was point to my belly, and say "that's not what they decided they preferred for dinner."
Yesterday I spent a couple of hours with my hubby in Rice Village to go baby stuff shopping. He was determined to get me a diaper bag for some reason and I was super excited. I mean, how many times does the hubby actually say "I want to take you shopping and I want you to get whatever diaper bag you want." Well, he said that - but once he saw that some of the designer models were well over $200, he changed that tune pretty quickly. However, we went in and out of 6 or so pregnancy/maternity/baby stores in the area.
Guess what I didn't come home with?
A diaper bag. Or much else for that matter.
Couldn't make up my mind. At all. For a diaper bag. Geez. (And yes, I do realize how much life has changed that a diaper bag can trigger an afternoon of shopping. I used to shop for clothes. But I have since abandoned that pasttime and instead live in the same pair of black pant every.single.day.)
All we had to show for our little shopping extravaganza was a tiny little A&M infant cap for Ryan to wear home from the hospital (our currently no-named little girl will wear an LSU one for her momma) and "What to Expect in the First Year" (We have moved from pregnancy books into "first year" books since we realized that we have about zero idea about what we are in for in just a few short months).
Man, that always happens - cash in hand, willing husband --- nothing purchased.
I came home and surfed the internet for probably another 2 hours looking for a diaper bag. Pretty sad.
My mornings are spent with the refrigerator door wide open as I debate breakfast options. I used to just have the same thing every morning, turkey sandwich and cheetos (don't judge - I'm allergic to eggs so most breakfast options are closed to me!). Now, I jump between sandwiches, cereals, frozen waffles and god knows what else. Usually, I start pulling the stuff out on the counter to have whatever I have finally decided on, only to change my mind, put all the stuff back (sometimes after it's been made) and pull out something else.
Pretty sure I am losing it but the best breakfast to date was a small bowl of cereal, a waffle, bacon, and a half PB&J. All cause I couldn't make up my mind. That's where the pregnancy pounds come from - not from intentionally overeating, but because you can't make up your mind so you just go for it all.
Now I'm off to eat my grilled chicken salad with a side of french fries. Cause I couldn't decide what sounded better.