And the unexpected.
Today is one of those unexpected days. Tonight we were supposed to be preparing ourselves to pick up our daughter and bring her home where she belongs. Yet here I sit, writing a blog and thinking mindlessly about what I am going to do tomorrow. Because we won't be picking her up after all. I had wanted my 100th post to be about celebrating the babies' one month birthday and Quinn's homecoming. But my wishes aren't always God's plan.
Quinn had a pretty good apnic episode this morning. When the doctor called to tell me, my heart just sank. Strangely enough, as I was getting ready this morning, I just had a feeling that something was not right today. Call it mother's intuition. At any rate, our princess won't be joining us at home for at least a few more days. After the doctors pow-wowed to discuss her condition, it was decided that no decision would be made about release until at least the end of the week. Something tells me, with as conservative as they have been with her care thus far (thankfully), she won't even be considered for release until next Monday or Tuesday.
I am so grateful that the episode did not happen at home and instead occurred while she was in the care of such excellent nurses. It was a long episode, at least 30 seconds, and she had to be stimulated to come out of it. If that had happened at home, who knows what we would have done. I am not that eager to show off my newly found infant cpr and nursing skills. Leave that to the professionals. Yet, I cannot help but be sad. I just wanted to have my little girl home with us. I want to be a family of four under one roof. But here we are, waiting once again.
I know that in the grand scheme of Quinn's life with us, these extra few days are not a huge deal at all. Yet, my selfishness for wanting her with me trumps that sort of reasoning in most moments. Last week I ordered this precious 4th of July onesie and red/white/blue tutu for her, confident that she would be home on the 4th of July with us. Now it looks like that she'll have to wear that in the NICU. But that's ok. The nurses are just going to have to figure out how to change her diaper around all of that colorful tulle - because my little princess will be wearing her outfit!
In positive news, she is 5lbs 1oz now! Growing girl. This morning she took a GREAT bottle with me which made me smile. She was such a sweet thing in her little pink onesie --- and that little sweet thing attacked that bottle with all of her might! She sucked down 3oz in no time flat and totally kicked her brother's butt in the feeding department. The nurse told me that they all joke about Quinn and how you can just hear this tiny little thing smacking her lips during her feeds clear across the nursery :) That image makes me laugh because it's so true!
And such a fun thing - we have decided that Quinn's little mouth and lips are an identical match to that of my father. It's such a trip to see his features in her. I am so comforted by that because it's like he's watching out for her daily, even when we can't be there. Too cool.
So anyway - homecoming will have to wait but I know the timing is God's, not ours. He obviously knew what He was doing when He encouraged the staff to keep her an extra few days and not discharge her early as some doctor's may have been tempted to do. Thank you, God, for always watching out for us. Even when we don't understand, we do know that Your plan is perfect.
Next up, the twin's 1 month birthday on Saturday, July 3rd. Where did the last month go??? I already get nostalgic looking back at their earliest pictures. In a way, it's already hard to remember them being that small - isn't that crazy??!! Ryan goes for his check up on Thursday and I fully expect that kid to be well over 6lbs. He's not my teeny tiny tot anymore -but that's ok because I know it means he is as healthy as a horse.
Thank you all for your continued prayers for the twins. God is good.