Making choices

I have some other blog posts in my mind, but because people have been asking, here is a quick Quinn update. I aim to please :)

We had another appointment on Tuesday at Texas Children's for a second fetal echocardiogram of Quinn's heart. After another looongggg ultrasound (at least an hour, if not more), we found out some new or updated info on what's happening.

First, one thing they were measuring was the growth of her Pulmonary Artery and the blood flow to that area. As it stands now, they were able to track an upwards growth of the flow, which was a great thing. That typically is an indicator on whether she will require surgery at 1-2 days old to place a shunt in the artery as a temporary relief measure. So, tenatively we can say it looks good that she will be a "wait & watch" candidate when she is born, as opposed to being guaranteed surgery.

They did note a bit of leakage in one of the valves not previously viewed in the last echo. Not a huge concern at this point, but something we will watch when she gets here.

Her heart function & growth is progressing normally for a fetus her age.

Based on all of this news, this is what we pray will be the best-case scenario when she arrives:

She will go straight to the NICU when born for observation. If needed, they will give her a special medicine to aid the Pulmonary Artery function. And if needed, we will meet with surgeons to discuss putting in a shunt vs a catherial stint - but only if her function is diminished.

They will do an echo on her heart and check out how it's working. Depending upon how she is doing, she will be able to come home - just probably not as early as Ryan. Most likely she will be moved from the NICU down to the Cardiac floor, which has a "room-in" option that I could stay in with Ryan during her stay. And then hopefully, following observation there, we will be able to go home! No time frame was really discussed since the length of stay will also be dependent upon whether or not these guys come early or not.

Then, we will be facing the "major repair" (as they call it) to fix the Double Outlet Right Ventricle, correct the Pulmonary Stenosis, and the Ventricular Septal Defect - I know!! Look at all those SAT words. The hope is that she will be able to wait until she's 6-9 months old for this repair but it will all be dependent on how she actually does when she gets here. BUT her prognosis to get to that point & survive after surgery is GREAT. That confidence on survivability had really not been expressed to us yet, and wow - what a great feeling to hear those words.

In fact, our fetal cardiologist fully indicated that her ability to live a normal life would not be comprimised. She even mentioned that she would likely be able to play soccer at age 4 or do ballet if she wanted :) I don't know how the dr knew to say "soccer" to me, but I got tears in my eyes when she said those magic words!! Of course, my little Quinn can do whatever her heart desires, but this soccer momma can't help but hope that she gets some of my passion for the game!

Anyway, after that great appointment on Tuesday, I had another appt with my high-risk doc on Friday. While the office staff leaves MUCH to be desired in the way of common courtesy, my doctor is great. I really like him and appreciate the way he asks me questions and then (gasp!) actually listens for the response. He makes me feel so confident about this pregnancy.

The one thing about going to a high-risk doctor is that they have seen it all. My case is not special there and really even is quite ordinary. Just the way I like it. While I appreciated my regular OB's attention to me, I realize now that she made me so darn nervous because she jumped at every unusual observation. I felt like I was going to go into labor every time I was in that office! But now, everything is routine to Dr. K and he doesn't get rattled about my situation. In fact, just in the past year, he has delivered at least 10 sets of twins where one baby had a congenital heart defect. Not just 10 sets of twins - but 10 sets with our specific problem. That is just awesome.

Dr. K gave me a clean bill of health and sent me on my way rather quickly. I'll go back in 2 weeks and we'll go from there! Ryan and Quinn are now measuring about 3lbs 2oz each. I can't believe I am carrying 6.5lbs of babies now! They both look great and are moving as they should and all that good stuff. Whew!!!

One huge thing I have been reminded of the past few weeks is how much a positive attitude plays a role in how I physically feel.

When I was going to my old doctor & we were unsure of Quinn's diagnosis, I was big-time down in the dumps. And not surprisingly, I felt horrible - tired, cranky, and emotional.

And now, the past couple of weeks I have felt so much more positive about where things are going & her prognosis --- and yes, I feel much better too. Tired, yes :) But not the bone-crushing exhaustion of before.

We have a choice. I have a choice. Everyday. To make the decision to live with a more positive attitude. God is in control of this situation BUT He does NOT control how we choose to deal. That's where free will comes in. We have the power to choose.

Today I choose positivity. And tomorrow I will choose positivity.

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Oh, my poor husband!

So last night I was telling my husband about our friends who have twins --- and how exciting it was that they got to sleep through the night. A full 8 hours! I was really happy for K&J and found it very encouraging news - that yes, twins too, can be put on a schedule and actually sleep.

A funny look came over my husband's face.

"How old are they?", he asked.

I replied that I thought they were around 9 or 10 weeks old.

In an incredulous voice (and probably just a scotch higher than his normal Matt voice), he said, "And they are just NOW sleeping through the night??!!??"


How I just laughed at him.

What did you expect? A full night of sleep at 2 weeks old?

And my, oh my. How I will probably not be laughing in just a few short weeks.

But honestly, at this point, anything longer than a 2 hour stretch sounds amazing to me.

Sleep, which has been hard to come by, most of my pregnancy, is now virtually non-existent.

The babies are all up in my ribs and most likely interfering with my breathing, so even laying on my side makes me feel like I am slowly suffocating to death.

It's going to be a looongg 7 or 8 more weeks --- that's right, I am 30 weeks today!!!

But I know it's all worth it for my little M&M's. :)

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I'm Back!

Well, we are still alive over here! Bad blogger, bad blogger.

What can I say? When I am less busy, I find myself much less productive and much more willing to devote countless hours to mindless television and people.com reading. Which is sort of counterintuitive - because you would think the more time I have on my hands, the more likely I would be to do the things I enjoy. But not so much. My brain has been mush lately. Be glad, I was just trying to protect you from my ramblings.

Anyway - we have had quite the time the last few weeks. Last week, I ended up in Labor & Delivery for a little monitoring to make sure I wasn't contracting (I wasn't but my dr was worried about my cervix). That was a fun way to spend my 30th birthday. And it was enough to scare the crap out of me and to make sure I got in some quality bed rest time. And thanks to a viscious cold that lingered for 6 days, I pretty much was in bed the majority of the time.

And it paid off - today I had my first appointment with my high-risk OB and it was GREAT. First appointment I've had in awhile that actually left me feeling confident and happy. The babies look awesome and are measuring wonderfully. Quinn is 2lbs 11oz and Ryan is 2lbs 8oz. Dr. K was very pleased with their size and how everything looked. And my cervix is back to normal! He also said he didn't see any reason why we couldn't carry these babies for another 2 months which was music to my ears. No one has expressed that vote of confidence to me and boy, it makes a world of difference for my mental health.

So all is good in the Clanahan world and we are looking forward to a busy weekend - we have our first 2 birthing classes this Saturday & Sunday. Seriously? 12 hours of instruction? Maybe I am naive, but I sorta thought I could comp out for watching Baby Story re-runs. Doesn't that teach me everything I need to know?

Honestly, all I want them to tell me is one thing: When do I get my epidural?

And when do I get to see these little precious M&Ms? :)

Ryan - 28 weeks (above)

Quinn - 28 weeks

Happy Weekend, y'all!