It happens every once in awhile.
Those moments where something happens that makes you step back and evaluate what is truly important in life. Admittedly, I get wayyy too bogged down in just the daily details - you know the ones. The feeding, the cleaning, the dressing, the disciplining, the bills, work, etc. The things that can suck your energy dry - and leave you feeling too exhausted to do the things you really want to do, like get on the carpet and play with your kids all day, actually take care of yourself, or just enjoy fixing a nice meal for your family.
This past Wednesday I was in a really bad car accident. I say "bad" because it involved 4 cars, multiple tow trucks, a couple of ambulances, multiple emergency personnel, and one trip to the hospital via ambulance for me. Thankfully, no one was killed or seriously hurt.
Ironically I was on a tollway that I very rarely travel on unless I am with my husband or heading down to the med center with the kids. We typically stay in our "suburbia" most of the time so this was a rarity.
Anyway it happened (not my fault, I should point out but I suppose it doesn't really matter). In a matter of seconds, I was faced with a split decision on how I wanted to wreck - into a wall, into the cars that had already wrecked in front of me or swerving to the side to attempt to avoid but knew I'd probably hit someone there. No bueno on the choices.
I chose to swerve. Car was coming up on my right side and that was the end of the right side of my car. Somehow I was able to pull my car to the right shoulder (which is very limited spacing on this particular roadway, it's basically a 2 lane tollway with very little shoulder space). And I sat there. Just shaking uncontrollably. Replaying in my mind. Wondering what just happened. One minute I was excited about the prospect of the day, actually dressed in something other than work out clothes (a rarity), and the next I am leaning against the back of my car seat, grasping for my cell phone and praying my husband would answer.
I felt excruciating pain in my neck and shoulders but initially that wasn't what was bothering me. By the time the emergency folks got to me, they saw my tears and asked if I was ok. I just gestured to the back seat where three empty car seats sat (I watch a little boy every Monday so we have his car seat too) and just broke down.
They weren't with me. The kids were safe and sound at school. Whereas they are riding with me 90% of the time I am out and about, they weren't with me. Thank you, Jesus. I'll talk a million ambulance rides never to be in an accident with them. A huge prayer of thankfulness was sent up.
Five hours later after multiple tests at the hospital which confirmed nothing was broken, we were picking up our babies from some dear friends. And I was just overcome again with emotion. I just wanted to grab them and never let them go and whisper in their little ears that momma would do anything, anything to protect them.
But I can't. Not all the time. We can take reasonable precautions but we have to take the risk if we take them out in this big ole world.
But my goodness. The dishes and cleaning may go by the wayside for a little while in name of just being with my kids.