I.N.S.O.M.N.I.A.

Insomnia and I are fighting a battle this week. And well, let's see, given that it is 1:26am and I am pounding out a blog post, I'd say she's winning. I really don't even have anything blog-worthy except for this silent demon that is stealing away my precious zzzzz's.

I go through these phases of insomnia. For months I'll be fine and be able to sleep when my hubby knocks out (well, I may read or watch tv for a little bit until he gives me that final unapproving groan that is my signal that it's time to shut it down).

And then I will go through these "sleep droughts" we'll call them --- where sleep at night just escapes me. And inevitably I need to take a nap in the afternoons which obviously just prolongs the cycle.

So I've been dealing with this latest round for about a week and it was aggravated by the new meds my dr gave me for my newest addition to my body - a golf to tennis ball-sized cyst on my ovary.

Yes. Again.

I know. I need to get preggers immediately.

Hopefully this is the last one. If aunt flow would just come for her monthly visit ON TIME for once, then we can get this whole thing going - get on the birth control pills and then the cysts will be g.o.n.e. (and I apologize to anyone reading this who is tired of hearing about my ovaries/uterus/period, etc -- it has kind of taken over my world now. ha!)

But thank God "the pill" should help. I've had enough of prescription motrin, tylenol or whatever else they can give me. That and the fact my heating pad has been permanent attached to my body for the last 4 days. In 96 degree heat. Oh, that's just fabulous. I highly recommend sweating your a*# off in your own home. Plus, you know our AC isn't below 80 during the day, so I have been just a beauty queen.

Excuse me while I wipe a sweat droplet off my keyboard.

Am I too young for hot flashes?

Anyway, the meds seem to aggravate my insomnia - most people get drowsy - but we all know that I am not normal, so of course, I get hyper. The other night I was so keyed up that I literally never went to bed. Until 8am the next morning. The advantage? I was able to complete about 5 hours of my work "day" and knock out a whole bunch of projects that I had been dreading. Plus, I even wrote the weekly e-newsletter - including 5 or 6 pretty detailed articles.

Not so sure that was a hot idea considering I re-read it the next morning and had to correct about 5 run-on sentences, 7 major grammatical infractions, and 34 misspelled words.

Ahhh, the benefits of being a virtual office employee.

Tonight I was certain I would be able to sleep --- I didn't catch a nap today (not w/o lack of trying but the schedule just didn't work out in my favor - the nerve!), plus I had a big ole dinner of pasta and bread and all things carbs and deliciousness. All signs pointed in my favor.

Sure as rain, I fell asleep quickly even before the news came on. Only to be woken up by something at midnight - just 2 1/2 hours later. FRUSTRATING.

So now, my sweet husband sleeps by himself as I play on the computer. My sweet husband, by the way, who has no problem falling asleep whatsoever. He can be talking 100 miles a minute and then "Tired" just smacks him in the face and he is gone in about 90 secoonds. I am envious.

So needless to say he doesn't really get the whole insomnia thing. He just thinks I need to close my eyes and count sheep and see where that gets me. I know where that gets me. That gets me to 1,000 sheep 1 hour later, wide-awake wondering about the 1,000 sheep and where do I put them now?

I can only imagine that this latest onset of insomnia is partially due to the whole invitro thing starting up soon. The process begins this month and even though I feel ready, I know my mind is still stressing over it. Plus, as we've covered before, patience is not a quality on the top of my list so the waiting game doesn't exactly do it for me. But before I know it, I'll be on all sorts of hormones and Matt will be shooting me up.

Actually, I don't even want to think about him shooting me up yet - on top of insomnia, if I am fortunate enough to fall asleep, then I'll have nightmares about that. He is so going to have to practice on an orange or some other type of fleshy fruit before he touches my flesh with that needle.