A Year Can Change Everything

How a year can change everything. Just a few days ago, we celebrated the year anniversary of the implantation of the precious embroyos that we now know as Ryan and Quinn. As I read back through a few of those posts, I was kind of overcome with emotion. I was so excited that day, yet so nervous about what was to come. Not knowing if it would work. Not knowing if we would ever be parents.

Not knowing if we would be ready if it DID work :)

But it did. And here we sit a year later, and I have two precious little ones taking their afternoon nap in the next room. My once relatively organized living room is scattered with all sorts of rattles, swings, bouncy seats, and playmats. My sink is littered with dirty baby bottles and there is formula powder all over the counter. But I couldn't be happier about that. I simply cannot imagine waking up and not seeing their little faces. And just like when I met and married Matt, I cannot remember what my life was like before.

But that's why a blog is good :) Because I can look back and remember all of those emotions, the uncertainity, excitement, fear, and joy. I am so thankful that I charted the journey, if for no reason other than to have the stories for our family. I know some people are hesistant to discuss infertility - but for me, it was right to be open about it. It's part of us.

And I feel so blessed that I can actually see what Ryan & Quinn looked like when they were only 8 little cells. I think that once you have seen images like that, and then to know they were put in your body to grow, and now they are these little people ---- well, it's 100% proof to me that there is a God. And He is more awesome than we can even imagine.

We also celebrate that Matt's mother, Barbara, is one year past her diagnosis of Stage 4 breast cancer --- and is cancer-free!!! The day we had the transfer for the babies, we found out the news. Needless to say, it was such a mixture of emotions --- we were taking this huge step to extend our family and trying to be excited about that, but it was tempered by that devestating diagnosis. She has probably been through one of the toughest years of her life since that October news --- going through the chemo, surgery, and radiation, and of course,  followed by the death of Matt's father at the end of January. However, the "year that changed everything" has shown what an amazingly strong woman she is. She endured the treatments. And she triumphed over the Big C. Yay, Barbara! I am so proud to have you as a mother-in-law and grandma to our precious babies.



All Sorts of Excitement...

Never a dull moment around here. I guess that's not too terribly surprising considering we have infant twins. For some reason, I keep thinking I should be able to get more done during the day, but beyond bottles, making formula, laundry (lots and lots of laundry!!), paying bills, and attempting an afternoon nap --- I can't do much beyond that. I have all sorts of projects that I would like to tackle, namely finally placing the twins newborn pictures in their photo album, putting the final touches on the nursery, make sense of all of the hospital bills that have invetiably flowed in, and organizing my millions of magazine recipes. Alas, I have made some progress on the nursery and picture organizing, but we have miles to go.

I did make some progress on chunking piles of paperwork and old bills we no longer need. Finally dropped it off at the shredder and it weighed in at a whopping 26lbs. 26lbs of crap that I didn't need that was clogging my files and raising my blood pressure to untold levels. Paperless everything is my new best friend. Have a coupon? Send it to me paperless. Need to send me a bill? Paperless, thank you very much.

And now that it's fall, instead of putting things up, we are dragging down all sorts of fall decor and other madness from the attic.  I love the fall season and  I do love seeing all of the autumn colors in my casa, even if it is 90 degrees and 100% humidity outside. And there's not a pot of chili bubbling away on the stove.

I'm trying to get the babies all dressed up for fall but it's difficult with the warm weather. I put Ryan in a long sleeve shirt and some cords the other day and I thought he literally melted into his carrier. I'm such a good mom. Sometimes it's painful to be fashionable. Ironic though that my babies are always generally dressed up in their finest when we go out (which isn't often), and I am wearing a get up somewhat between my morning pjs and workout clothes. Although I haven't worked out in like a year. The sacrifices we make. Apparently the babies don't care if I have make up on or my hair straightened. Good to know.

Soooo back to the excitement - because I know that doesn't sound very exciting. We had an excellent appointment at TCH yesterday for Quinn. In fact, she is doing so well that right now, they do not want to see her back until the last 2 weeks of January. From then, based on her weight, we will probably schedule surgery late February, early March. On Monday, she was 11lbs 13oz so that was awesome. We fully anticipate for that growth to continue as we just added rice cereal to her bottles for some extra calories. Our doctor does not recommend it for Ryan until he can take it from the spoon. Right now, he doesn't have enough upper core strength to do that --- and he doesn't need the added calories if we put it in his bottle. Soooo, we continue to just move on and pray her stats hold out as long as possible. God has been so faithful in this journey. Just getting her this big and this far along has been HUGE for a baby born at 3lbs 13oz! All credit goes to Him, and Him only. Thank you for your continued prayers!!!

The other excitement: I made my first trip out of town and away from my babies this past weekend. One of my best friends (we've known each other for 25 years!!), had a wedding reception following a destination wedding. I really didn't want to miss it and I knew it would probably be fairly healthy for me to have some "Meagan Time" and not be a 24 hour mom for a couple of days. Lucky for me, I have pretty much the best husband in the world who was totally up for the task of taking care of the kids. He did a wonderful job - got the babies fed, kept them on their nap schedule, tummy time, and all that. I only worried about his diet which seemed to consist of pizza, beer, pizza, cereal, pizza, and maybe more beer (hey, it was football Saturday!!)

I 100% enjoyed my time away, but it sure was good to get back home. It took me the first 24 hours there to stop looking at my watch every 3 hours to see when a child needed a bottle (Type A, much?). And I came home to kids that I swear grew overnight and big ole gummy smiles. Pretty awesome homecoming.

Here are a few pictures of the wedding reception --- such fun to catch up with old friends, including seeing my other lifetime bestie, Ash... who no matter how separate our lives may seem these days, she's one of those you just pick right back up with. Like nothing's changed. Love ya!

Plus, for the 2nd weekend in a row, I got to see my mom, which is just a huge treat within itself. Never a dull moment when I am with my mom --- and we wouldn't have it any other way. I wish I could have seen more of my friends while in Dallas, but it was so last minute and I don't think I stopped moving once my plane touched down at Love. Hopefully, we will get back again soon and this time I will have my babies in tow. And based upon how much I packed for a 48 hour getaway, we are probably going to need a U Haul to get us there.

 Me & the Ashleys

 Some of Sting '80 reunited!

 Me and mom at the "after party"

 Ash & I

 Missed this little one so much!!

 And this little guy, too!

Story time with Mommy

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

On Thursday, October 7th, Quinn rolled over for the first time. I actually missed it the first time because I had put her on her tummy for a second while I went to go fetch Ryan from his crib. I came back into the room less than a minute later, and she was flat on her back staring at the ceiling. At first, I was so confused -- and she looked confused, too! Anyway, I put her on her tummy  again after that and she rolled over about 5 times. I was soooo thrilled for her --- and obviously so distracted that I forgot to press record on the video camera. I thought I was getting this amazing video for Matt but instead I was just taking still shots. Awesome mom that I am. Anyway, I was able to capture it a couple of days later... so here's the tape. Pretty cool.

Then yesterday, Weds, October 13th, Ryan decided that his sister was not going to be the only one performing tricks. Matt and I were playing with the kids after he got home from work and little Ryan just did it. So awesome. He proceeded to do it about 3 more times. I haven't gotten his on video yet because we were too excited, but I am sure that will be to come. I've got big plans for them today.

Lots of rolling, rolling, rolling :) Good job, twins! Love you!

4 months old (a few days, ok... a couple of weeks late!)

The twins were 4 months old on October 3rd. Again, time has escaped me and while it seems all I do is watch Real Housewives & play on facebook, apparently there is other stuff going on... we have been "Hotel Clanahan" since the babies were born, and there's only a rare weekend when we haven't had visitors. We absolutely love it - and love having sometime with precious family and friends. And Matt was "subbing" for his boss for the past 3 1/2 weeks so most nights he was not getting home before 6pm, and then it's time for baths, bottles, bed, dinner, and then bed for Mommy & Daddy.

So basically, organizing these pictures at the top with the way blogger is irritating me is out of the question. At least for tonight. My apologies, Ryan & Quinn.

There, enough excuses??!! Here we go...

Ryan - What You are Up To @ 4 Months Old:

At your 4 month check up, you weighed 12lbs 9oz and were 23 inches long. My growing boy. You don't miss many meals. You are still in the 5th percentile and 12th percentile respectively on weight and length, but your head is in the whopping 60th percentile! No wonder I have a tough time pulling 3 month clothes over your head!

Speaking of clothes, you are fully in 3 months, and some of your 3 month pjs are starting to get a little tight. We are going to need to upsize those soon. But all of your "cute" clothes in 3 months still fit. I love dressing you up. You on the other hand, are not impressed with Mommy's choices most of the time. I think you would be happy with just  a diaper.

You are a HUGE smiler and giggler these days. It melts my heart. Every morning, without fail, even if you have been whining, as soon as I set you on the changing table, you give me this massive grin. I love you sweet boy.

You are still incredibly laidback. Whenever we make trips out (which is rare), you just either sleep the whole time or you just look around with contentment written all over your face. At a drs appt for Quinn, Dr. B & all the nurses just kept checking on you to make sure you were still with us :)

You have a newfound obsession with a pink, fluffy star hanging off your playmat. HMMMMMMMMMM. :)

You are less than impressed with tummy time. Most of the time I have to lay down on the floor with you and keep pushing your hands underneath you to work out those muscles. You would be content just to lay your head down and fall asleep.

You can pretty much fall asleep anywhere, anytime. When you are done, you are done. You just get this milk-drunk look on your face and your eyelids get so droopy. I am so envious that you can just shut it down when you are ready. Even when Mommy is exhausted, she still fights sleep. So you must get that from Daddy.

You are becoming so aware of your hands and feet and want to touch & grab anything. That means anything that I am holding or my clothes, or my hair.

You are such a happy, sweet, cuddly little bear and we love you so much!!!

Quinn - What You Are Up To @ 4 Months Old:

At your 4 month check, you weighed 10lbs 7 oz. and you were 22 1/2 inches long. You are growing! Mommy was a little sad, because we had been working so hard on your feedings, and I thought you would have gained a little more. But your heart is working so hard and taking all of your calories. However, the next week you rebounded and gained 8oz in 7 days and you were just shy of a whopping 11lbs :) And we see it all over you face --- looking at your cheeks, it's doubtful that you have missed many meals either!

You are completely out of your newborn clothes as well, and have even moved onto size 1 diapers. Most of your 3 month stuff still has a little growing room, but the more you grow, the cuter the outfits get :) Keep growing, little one!

Honestly, if you are not feeding, you are just about the happiest little baby. You smile so much these days, it's amazing to see! And you smile with your eyes --- meaning I can see it, even when you have a giant paci in your mouth! You are also a HUGE talker. You would just talk and babble for hours if I'd let you --- but a little girl needs her sleep now and again.

Speaking of naps, you are getting sooo much better at them. You used to fuss all the time, and now you know the routine and most of the time go down pretty easy. We are still doing 3 naps a day for both of you guys, and it's just a crap shoot on whether one or both of you will stay asleep for an hour to an hour 1/2. Most likely, little Q, it's you who's ready to get up first. But that just means you are afraid you are missing something important! (Trust me little girl, the laundry folding, bottle washing, bill paying, mail checking and facebooking updating really isn't that exciting!)

You have such an amazing spirit! I LOVE seeing your personality come out in these past few weeks. You are fiesty but such a sweetie... and you love attention. You fight for what you want and are just my little independent. Good for you! Most of all, I love when you have one of your cuddly moods and you curl up with me into my neck for just a second. My sweet girl. But let's not fool anyone. You are still such a Daddy's girl. Sweetheart, you have him completely wrapped around your finger. Just don't tell him I told you that....

You are getting really good at tummy time! You prefer to do it when you are on my chest as opposed to the floor but your strength is amazing. You remain in love with your little purple fish that hangs off of your bouncy seat. You will just play with that thing all day long. And we also discovered you can be a little lazy --- Mommy's friend Libby gave you her Nap Nanny to borrow and you are obsessed. You will just lay in that thing and swing your legs over the edges like you are ready to watch a good movie (or football game!). It cracks me up. Lady of Leisure, my daughter. That's about right!

You are really looking so much healthier these days. Your color is great, your cheeks look nice & plump and you are even getting a little Buddah belly. Once we get this surgery behind us, you are going to just take off, I know it!

Baby girl, you are my heart. I love you.