Babies Birthday Pictures - June 3, 2010

Here are a few pics of Ryan and Quinn's birthday. Unfortunately, we didn't have as many of Quinn because she was busy entertaining a team of neonatologists and cardiologists. But more pics to come of her when she doesn't have tubes everywhere! What an amazing day. Honestly, after looking at these pictures for the hundredth time, I totally get how moms say that they would do it all over again - because I would. Maybe not anytime soon, but would totally endure it all to hold these precious little ones again. :)

**Many of these pictures were taken by my very close friend Kendra who happens to be a very talented photographer. We were so blessed to have her share this special moment with us and capture these amazing shots. Thank you, Kendra, for being there!**
www.kendramartinphotographyblog.com

Daddy, Mom, & Ryan (Quinn was already in the NICU and I wasn't allowed to hold her until the following day)

Ryan and Daddy's aggie ring

Tired, tired Mommy & Ryan




Proud Daddy


Three out of the four Clanahan Fam

My precious little girl


Quinn being checked out

Fiesty from the start :)

Quinn, 3lbs 13 oz

Ryan all bundled up
Oh, I just love this little face

Daddy with Ryan after birth


My little brunette - I really thought he would have blonde hair like his Daddy --- but Quinn is the blonde instead.
He was a lot happier once they put clothes on him


Best day of my life!!!

Blessings,

Our First Week - Ryan

My babies are one week old today (Thurs, June 10th)! I really can't believe the week has passed by so quickly. I just keeping thinking back to their delivery and what an amazing, awesome, scary, surreal experience that was. The joy I have in my heart is unmatched by anything I have ever known. I feel privileged that I was able to carry these precious little ones, and I am humbled that God has entrusted Matt & I to be their parents.

Week one has been such a ride. My time in the hospital from Thursday to Monday evening was actually so pleasant. I didn't really want to leave for a number of reasons, main one being that I knew we couldn't see our little Quinn whenever we wanted. Now that we are home, we are a good 35-45 minutes away from her and the logistics of getting down there while caring for Ryan is a little hairy.

On Monday when we were discharged, I was filled with so many emotions...sadness, joy, nervousness, gratefulness, and overwhelming love. We got home and it was like, "ok, so what the hell do we do now??" :)

Gigi (my mother) was waiting at home to greet us and we immediately plopped Ryan down in her lap for some grandmother loving time. I think she seriously sat and just looked at him for a good 45 minutes. After ravaging some Chinese food and introducing Ry to our neighbors, it was time for Matt & I to face the night on our own.

We had big plans for the little guy --- in the hospital, we had a pretty good routine going and R was so easy going, I was NOT prepared for the night that was instore. We got him fed, dressed, and tucked him into the twin pack & play bassinet in our bedroom. Our optimism for the evening turned out to be short-lived to say the least. Ryan immediately had a breakdown in his bed so we did everything we could think of to soothe him. Skin to skin, another bottle, warm cuddles, diaper change -- nothing worked. And the kiddo just screamed. Something about nighttime and a wailing newborn just jangles your nerves. I never thought crying like that could bring me to my knees - but I was praying that God would send me the answer on how to soothe my poor little boy. After wading through what seemed like hours of consoling and more crying, he finally passed out at about 4:30am -- so mom and dad got about 2 hours of sleep before his 6am feeding.

We woke up that morning and just looked at each other in disbelief --- I mean, we knew it would be hard, everyone tries to prepare you, but until you are actually in it, you can't get it. Wow, I get it now :) We were questioning everything about our parenting skills and whether we were truly up for this task. This was just one -- what were we going to do when we had 2 of these wailers going?

However, on Tuesday, even in our bleary-eyed, exhausted state - Ry managed to have a great day...feeding every 3 hours and sleeping pretty much the rest of the time. We had a little bottle drama trying to figure out what he would like out of the 18 choices I had registered for. Thankfully, he settled on one (the least expensive of them all, I must add!) and we carried on.

Of course, nighttime inevitably rolled around and we had to face the situation again. After much discussion, it was concluded that I would do the 10:30 and 1:30am feedings and let Matt take the 4:30 and 7:30am while I slept. And it really worked out great. Ryan did wonderfully and by 2:30am, I had him all snuggled in his pack and play and I was able to crawl into a real bed and catch a few zzz's.

And Weds night was pretty much the same. I think this routine really works for us --- Matt gets up early for work anyway and he tends to hit a wall at 10pm, so this just makes sense. When he goes back to work, he'll be able to help with at least the 4:30 feeding before he leaves. What a blessing. We decided that Monday night was probably just a little overwhelming for Ry -- too much stimulation and nothing that he was used to like in the hospital. But now, I think he is pretty cozy and who wouldn't prefer a nice, comfy bassinet as opposed to a plastic bin that the nursery had for him in the hospital.

And of course, as soon as I type "plastic bin", I realize that I am the mom who lets her child sleep in a modified laundry basked during the day. Nice. The babies have oodles of fancy equipment to play/sleep in - bouncy seats, swings, vibrating chairs, the works. And my kid sleeps in a laundry basket. The main problem is since Ryan is only 5lbs, he is really too small for any of the "heavy equipment". He slips down into the swing and bouncy seat and his poor little head just can't stay upright. Not safe or cozy. So for now, he chills in a laundry basket and it works for us.

On Wednesday, we had our first little check up at the pediatrician. It wasn't the full newborn screen but the doctor just wanted to check him out since he was a preemie. The doctor was great with him and Ryan barely cried during the whole exam. We were given a clean bill of health and away we went. Whew.

Thursday was mostly a rest day for us. Ryan and I just stayed at home and hung out while Matt went to go see Quinn. I was even able to grab a shower in the morning and toss on a little makeup. The simple pleasures in life.

Friday was a big day for me - my first real day of driving and getting out of the house. I had planned to leave the house by 9am to get down to the med center to see Quinn, but wow - babies really slow down your getting ready routine! I wasn't ready to leave until almost 10am but it worked out fine. Made it down to the hospital and through the maze of the crazy parking garages down there by myself. I was so proud :) (If you knew what a poor sense of direction I have, then you would understand why I was patting myself on the back). I was able to hold Quinn for almost a good hour today which was wonderful. I just sat and stared at her and all of her perfect little features. Love that little girl. And miss her like crazy.

All in all, I would have to rate our first week home as A+. I feel more at peace with my life than I ever have before. I finally feel purpose. And seeing my husband become a father -- well, I just fell in love with him all over again. So cliche I know, but very true.

We have been so immeasurably blessed through this whole experience. So many people have offered assistance, brought food, sent emails, called - the outpouring of support has just warmed my heart. Many of these people prayed for these children before they were even a twinkle in our eyes, so to see those prayers answered just continues to reaffirm my faith and God's plans for our lives. I don't always understand God and the mysterious ways that He answers prayers. But I do understand that even when I think He's not listening, He hears all. And during this process, I could almost hear Him whisper, "my child, in due time I will answer your prayers -- and the blessings that flow from them will be far more amazing than you can even imagine." It could not have been more true.

**Quinn's first week post to follow soon, plus pics! I have to go feed a child now :) ***

Happy Birthday, Ryan & Quinn (6.3.10)

Ryan David Greenwood Clanahan - born at 6:55pm on June 3rd, 2010, weighing 5lbs 2oz, 16 3/4 inches long.
Quinn Eugenie Clanahan - born at 6:56pm on June 3rd, 2010, weighing 3lbs 13 oz and measuring 17 inches long.

Ryan was checked out by the pediatric unit at birth and given a clean bill of health. Because he was so strong, he has been able to stay with us since the first night. What a huge blessing. He is a joy and such a great baby so far. He loves to cuddle with his mommy and daddy and HATES having his diaper changed. He has been eating well and sleeping great.

Quinn, as we anticipated, was whisked away to the NICU after birth. I was able to see her for one minute in the operating room while she was in her incubator. Matt followed her to the NICU with my mom to get her settled and find out a quick report. She obviously was much smaller than we thought -- but still very strong. She was stable almost immediately and has been watched very closely by the cardiac team since her birth. She has not required any surgery/stints/oxygen or meds for her heart condition. This was a big victory for her! She was started on formula yesterday (Friday) and has done pretty well with it -- although by nightime, she gets pretty lazy and falls asleep before the feeding is over. She is fiesty in every other way, always moving and squirming just like she did in the womb. Ry is much more content to lay there and Quinn just wants to see everything that's going on! She LOVES her huge green paci they gave her and she's so tiny that it takes up much of her face. She is precious and we look forward to her being able to head home with us - perhaps as soon as 2 weeks!

After running back and forth between the NICU and our regular room, both Matt & I are pretty tired but we are THRILLED to be parents. It blows me away that these kiddos were the same ones I carried for almost 36 weeks. Matt is such an awesome dad, changing most of the diapers and handling the first feedings. He has been so amazing and I couldn't ask for a better partner in all of this. I have to say that these have been some of the sweetest days of my life. Just spending time rocking and loving on my kids makes my heart almost burst with joy. I could stare at them forever and very often do :) I honestly was scared to death that I wouldn't know ohow to feel "motherly" towards these 2 little babies --- and while it's such a cliche to say, it just comes naturally. I haven't done everything perfect, that's for sure (just ask Ry and his backwards diaper) but I feel like I know what they want and what will soothe them. What a cool thing.

And while these have been sweet days for sure, it still has been agony on my heart to only be able to hold little Quinn for short periods of time and then to have to leave her behind in a totally separate building. I hate that my kiddos are separated from each other and from us. Tonight I couldn't stop crying when I saw her --- I hadn't been able to see her all day and I felt incredibly guilty. Here I had spent all this time with Ryan but hadn't even been able to even say good morning to my daughter. I just prayed that she would remember me as her momma and even though we have to spend a lot of time apart right now, I just pray she will instictively know us. It's going to be a tough couple of weeks, having to leave her behind constantly -- but I thank God that the doctors have taken such awesome care of her and made it even possible for her to come home with us until she needs surgery.

We are so blessed. God has answered so many prayers and moved in so many amazing ways in our lives these past 3 days. Thank you all who have been praying for my little ones. They are precious and perfect in every way. Pics to come soon - the hospital internet connection makes it difficult to even get one picture uploaded.

Love,

Meagan

Babies are coming!!!

So today we had a dr's appt - R & Q are doing well but have run out of room. They maybe grew an ounce this past week and their fluid is getting low. So we are officially scheduled for a c-section tomorrow night at 6pm! So excited but getting nervous. Ready to meet my little ones for sure :) Please keep them in your prayers!

Quickie Update

Just a quick M&M update. Looks like they won't be making their appearance anytime soon! (Well, soon being a relative term, meaning not this weekend!) We had our 35 week appt today and everything was great. The babies actually picked up quite a bit of weight in the past week. Ryan was measuring right at 4lbs 14oz and Quinn was at 4lbs 9 oz. Quite a change from their 4lbs 2oz and 4lbs even, respectively, that there were last Thursday! And believe me, I feel every last ounce :) Or my back does at least.

So because their growth increase was so good, they weren't in danger of falling below that 10th percentile mark yet. All the fluid around them looks fine & they seem to be really cozy in there -- so we'll hang on for at least another week! I go back next Thursday to check things out.

Little Miss Quinn (who is becoming quite the princess) has flipped once again and is now transverse breech. Butt first. Awesome. Looks like a c-section may be the way we are heading.

To be honest, I wouldn't complain too much about that -- after worrying incessantly about her for the last 12 weeks or so, I will just be eager to get her into this world quickly and into the hands of the people who can help her. But whatever the doctor decides is best for them will work for me.

Hope you all have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend! Thanks for 94-95 degree temps here in H-town, I'll be camping out in front of the AC vent all weekend with a Sonic slush. Oh, the excitement!

Updated pictures!

Matt & Meagan - approx 32 weeks
Front belly - 32 weeks

Whoa - side belly

My great friend Kendra

Wonderful shower hostesses, Ash & Erin from Houston shower

Me & the grandmas

Meagan and "GiGi"

Holy diapers.

Changing table/dresser

Sweet little outfits

Beginning stages of closet (it looks 100 times better than that now!)

Ryan's crib

Quinn's crib, complete with "baby tv"
Lovely recliner with their monogrammed "lovies"

There are more pictures to come, especially from my Dallas shower. Have a great day!

A New Chapter

Next Thursday I will officially become unemployed. Not by force, thank goodness, but by choice. When we found out we were having twins last fall, I started doing a little research on daycare options. And whoa, it quickly became evident that putting 2 infants in daycare would only be worth it if I was making beaucoups of $$$.

And I work for a non-profit, so I don't :)

So next week is my last week of work and I am feeling somewhat bittersweet about it. I am excited because it means I am beginning a new chapter of "Stay at Home Mommyhood" (at least for the time being). But obviously I am going to miss my work.

Since graduating college, I have been a temporary employee at a personnel service (the economy was really bad in '02), a Center Director at an educational/tutoring center, an Investment rep/Personal Banker (5 years of h.e.l.l.) and finally, a Communications/Admin Director of 2 wonderful churches for the last couple of years .

I can honestly say that working for a church was a curveball I never anticipated as I pranced and partied my way through my college years. But God had other plans for me. And 2 1/2 years later, I am incredibly grateful & humbled to have had the privilege.

It has been the most wonderful, spiritually challenging, and engaging job I have ever held. And mostly because I didn't so much consider it a job -- instead it has just become my way of life.

Sure, not all days are perfect. Just because you work for a place of worship does NOT mean that everything is always hunky-dory and without conflict and trial. After all, we are still just flesh and human - and we fall. A lot. Way more than I would care to admit.

But there is a certain comfort in knowing that you are ultimately working for something bigger than yourself - and it's truly humbling.

And I will miss it dearly.

So now it's time to open a new chapter. To a life where sleep deprivation is commonplace, there is no salary, no 401K options, no insurance. To snotty noses, dirty diapers, and hysterical crying (maybe from all 3 of us!). To sweet smiles, cuddly coo's, and that wonderful clean baby smell. To first laughs, first teeth, and first steps.

And I can't wait.

No doubt it will probably be the hardest job I have ever held. But I am willing to try. I feel truly blessed that I have the opportunity to do so - I know that not everyone does. And I also know that it's not for everyone to be a SAHM --- I don't know if it's right for me. But we'll find out.

(Editor's note: Stay at home mom vs working mom is a VERY personal decision. Every mom has to do what is right for their family and it's different for everyone. I do NOT wish to enter into a debate about which is harder, which is better, etc. I know a myriad of success stories to support either side. For us, financially and otherwise, staying at home is right for us. But I 150% support all of the mom's who work a 40 hour+ week outside the home AND come home to raise their children. Major kuddos.)

Soon enough, I will become a mommy. Wow. I am scared.to.death. Now that the due date is quickly approaching, I am trying to switch over from "incubator" mode to mommy-mode. It can be easy to forget that during this pregnancy thing, you are actually preparing for 18+ years of parenthood. (Kind of like when you are engaged and you get caught up in "wedding fever" and the excitement of getting new china --- and you forget for a time being that you are preparing to be MARRIED for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.)

At any rate, they will be here before we know it. At our doctor's appt yesterday, he said it would probably be sometime in the next couple of weeks (I am 34 weeks tomorrow, so they would still be early, but not devestatingly so). Their growth has started to slow in the last couple of weeks - the poor M&M's are just running out of room! Right now, they are a little over 4lbs apiece and they fall in about the 15th-18th percentile. If they fall below the 10th percentile, then my doctor will induce. At that point, you have to weigh (pun intended) their potential growth in utero to their projected growth once they are born.

So we'll see! I'll go back to see him next Thursday and will hopefully have a few more answers. The great news is that even though they are on the smaller side, they still look very healthy and Quinn seems to be tolerating her heart condition very well while in utero. She's a little fighter. And her big brother doesn't cause us any trouble at all which makes Mommy & Daddy uber-proud.

Life is going to look and feel dramatically different at the Clanahan house in just a few short weeks. It is only with a small amount of trepidation & fear that I say "Bring it On" :)