Mommy & Daddy @ 1 Month

Since the babies get monthly updates, I figured Mommy & Daddy should, too! We are doing well now that we are 5 weeks in. Better than I thought we would, to be honest. Of course, exhaustion is present but not unexpected. We are just full of joy having our babies here with us. The love we have for the twins surpasses anything that I could have ever imagined. And the love we have for each other has only multiplied.

I am so proud of Matt and how he has adjusted. I think he was made for fatherhood. He does so much for our family, going to work every day for long hours, visiting Q on his lunch breaks, then coming home immediately to relieve me for some "Meggie Time". I feel so blessed to have such a supportive partner. Last night he even took the 10:30pm and 3:00am feedings so that I could get a full night's sleep (which is the only reason I am able to coherently write any sort of blog posts this morning).

I am recovering well from the c-section and starting to walk about 20 minutes a night, mostly for a stress reliever but to also help kick-start my fitness routine. As much as I am looking forward to being released to run again, I am dreading it because I know it is going to HURT after not being able to do anything the better part of a year. And mentally, I am doing ok too - small touch of the baby blues here and there but nothing too bad. Of course, both of us are emotionally stressed to still have Quinn in the hospital. Nobody anticipated her release taking this long.

We were potentially expecting her to be released this weekend, but again we have been postponed. They did a test on her this past Tuesday to see if reflux was contributing to her apnea spells. The results showed she is having some reflux so they started her on Prevacid yesterday. Now we will watch her for the weekend and she will be re-tested on Monday to see if the meds are doing their job. She has not had an apnic spell since July 4th so we are just crossing our fingers that everything stays quiet on that front.

However, the testing that they did indicated that some apnea was still present so that's why they are being cautious. We are basically to the point where we need to look for other causes of her d-stats (drop in her levels). Most babies would have grown out of the AOP (Apnea of Prematurity), although there may be some who have prolonged AOP for whatever reason. So we are hoping it is explained by the reflux diagnosis. If not, we will need to investigate other causes - whether it be metabolic, a disconnect in her brain, or perhaps cardiac. The cardiologists really don't believe it's related to her heart defect but who knows. The neo team really isn't concerned yet and is not ready to investigate the "B" and "C" causes of this - and still are dealing with the "A's" -- the most likely causes.

Every day longer that she is in the NICU makes it that much harder for me to leave her. I want to see my baby grow up and I can't believe I have missed much of these first 5 weeks. I know we will play super catch up when she finally gets home. Little girl may just stay in my arms for a week! Today I am bringing up her bouncy/vibrating seat for her to chill in for a little bit today. I want her to experience some of the fun things that Brother gets to have while he is home. She has a large mobile over her crib but since they mostly keep her on her side, she doesn't interact much with that so I also got her a fun mirror that she can see when she lays down. I hope she likes it!

Tonight Matt and I are having our first date night! We have left Ryan a few times with sitters (really, friends & family more than sitters) but that's only been to go to the hospital to see Quinnie or for me to go to a doctors appt. But tonight, we will have a "real" date night - and I am so excited. (Please, no judgment in leaving my baby with a well qualified friend for a couple of hours. I know some people don't believe in that this early. However, for our family and the situation we are dealing with Q's health, it works for us.) It will be so nice to reconnect with Matt without the hum of a swing behind us or beeping from a bottle warmer. Yet I bet that most of our conversation will center around the kiddos -- isn't that the way it works??? :)

Thank you all for your continued prayers for Quinn and the rest of our family. Please pray that the cause of her apnea and heart rate drops is related just to the reflux and will be controlled by the new medicine. Pray that she comes home to us in God's time.

In Him always,

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1 comment:

Amy said...

Well anyone who would judge you for that would be a heartless fool with clearly zero newborn experience (in my humble opinion.) So glad you got a night off, you NEED it! And it's good for you! Meg, I've been meaning to tell you, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this time with Quinnie in the hospital. Every time I think about it I get a little teary because I imagine it must be so hard on you. I hope you're reminding yourself that she's where she needs to be, where God intends her to be, and in the grand scheme of things this time she's away will be so teeny. She certainly won't remember it or be 'scarred' by it. You're definitely suffering more emotionally, I'm sure! Hang in there, this too shall pass! Love you!