Test results are back - it's not the acid reflux causing her apnea (although she still does have reflux). They are referring us to the pulmonary docs tomorrow who may ultimately run more tests, do a sleep study, or just decide to release her on a monitor to come home.
I wish I had more answers. Every day that passes seems to bring more questions than answers. But preemies are predictably unpredictable. Who would have thought that this would have gone on so long while Brother has been able to thrive at home? It's just one of those mysteries.
To be honest, I had a horrendous afternoon yesterday after getting the news of her results. I didn't think I was really getting my hopes up that much --- but apparently subconsciously I was. And it just crushed me. I haven't allowed myself to have too many of these pity parties - but last night, I lived it up :)
But through my despair and my sadness, I just kept thinking of this song that I love by Mercy Me, "Bring the Rain". Jesus, bring the rain --- if it allows us to draw closer to you in the end. I try not to question God during these times, although it's hard. Sometimes I just want to be able to call him on the phone and be like, "Seriously, God? Enough?" :) ha. Not so much. But it's part of His plan and we can praise Him in the storm.
God is good,