10.13.2009

The Great Egg Hunt, Part III

Really? There's a part III of the Great Egg Hunt?

Well, yeah, in my book there is. Even with all the reading up and edu-macation I received prior to the retrieval, I still had tons of questions for the doc. What a shocker.

And there might even be a part IV. I'm not sure when I am going to transfer (ha - no pun intended!) from my Egg Hunt posts to my Petri placement posts. hmmmm... maybe soon.

Back to asking questions: I am certain that he and his nurse will be quite relieved when I get preggers and stop peppering them daily with questions.

But I also figure I've kind of earned the right to ask questions seeing as how I didn't just write them a check for a $25 copay & they got a negligible payment from our insurance company that probably barely covered their time. Nope, they got straight up cash - and for that much cash, you are going to listen to my questions! ha.

They've been wonderful though -- I really can't complain. When I called this morning (at 8:03am - knowing full well they had just opened at 8am), my very favorite receptionist Barbara answered. She happened to be working the day of my retrieval at the other location & saw us go in, so when I called, she knew I had already had everything done. When I told her the news about the fertilization, I swear she almost started crying she was so happy. That made me start crying, of course. In a good way. It's funny to me to think that an almost perfect stranger would be that hopeful for us -- and that thrilled that (so far) everything is working out to plan. Certainly a blessing.

Anyway, finally spoke to my nurse and reviewed my schedule - confirmed my 5 day transfer and the meds to start prior to. I was saddened to hear about the new shots, even though I knew full and well they were coming - maybe I was hoping for a last minute twist in the med plan since everything was going so well? ha. no. Dream big, Meg.

So, I started my progesterone in oil shot tonight. In my ass. It's a fun one, folks. Not only because it's a super thick formula so it takes about 5 minutes to get it fully in (ok, not 5 minutes but it's a loooonggg shot - or maybe that was just Matt's incredible nursing skills - love you, honey!), but also because well, it hurts. You have to massage it to make sure it gets all the way in. My nurse recommended at least a 30 minute butt massage to ensure that my ass doesn't get all lumped up with this medicine.

And if that isn't an incredibly attractive scenario, I don't know what is.

And who has time to lie there for 30 minutes and get their butt kneaded? Well, I may have the time, but I have no desire and no patience for such a thing. About 10 minutes in, I just told Matt to rub vigorously for 5 more minutes and then he would be freed. That boy leapt up like a dart at 4 minutes 59 seconds, muttering something about carpal tunnel.

I think he was just as excited to wrap up the "massage" as I was.

Oh, but the most awesome part of the progestrone shots??? If this does work and I do get preggers - these bad boys will be shot up daily until like week 9 or 10.

Come on??? Well, day 1 down. Perhaps only 62 to go. Small sacrifices. This child is already giving me a lumpy ass. I am sure that is the first of many changes to my body if I get pregnant so we'll deal.

The other news of the day:

My clinic doesn't do embroyo reports. Meaning I don't get a call every day letting me know how our little guys & gals are developing, if they are at all. I guess this would have been something important for me to know beforehand, but I don't know if I was so focused on retrieval that anything after that seemed so secondary - so I never asked.

Every clinic is different. Some do, some don't. My doctor is a firm believer in letting them be and grow without any daily disturbance.

Think of it this way: they are kind of baking at the moment. If you keep opening the oven, then you are going to disrupt that optimal baking temp and your souffle may fall (Note: I've never made a souffle in my life - but I've never made a baby either so maybe it's a good comparison).

So if my doc wants to leave them alone, we'll leave them alone. No daily grade reports, rating levels or anything else on our little ones. I am taking this is as a positive.

First, I don't have to wait on pins & needles all day waiting for "the call". Cause that's all I did last week and this past weekend and emotionally, it's a killer.

Secondly, I figure once these kiddos pop out, they are going to be judged/graded/scored for the rest of their lives. We'll let them start their first few days of conception in relative peace and harmony of not facing judgment from the cruel outside world.

Anyway, we'll find out Thursday morning (soon enough) how they all did and how many "made it" so to speak and at what levels.

So this is how I see Thursday now in my warped mind...

I see it kind of as a Christmas present. I've found the box before Christmas. I know that it says Banana Republic on it. I like to shop at Banana Republic. But I won't know until I open that box if I like what I actually got from Banana Republic. It could be beautiful and awe-inspiring. Or it could be last year's sock and sweater sale. Who knows.

I don't want to get my hopes up that we will have even 5 great ones. Even though deep in my heart I would love that. I know we only need 1 or 2 to make it work. But after all this, I really would like to have another shot at it just in case the pregnancy doesn't take so we don't have to start all over. But it's completely in God's hands.

And I leave you with this...I have a new "unfavorite" infertility statement that I have heard tossed around quite a bit as of late.

"It only takes one"

If one more person tells me that, I'm going to scream. I see the truth in that and I don't disagree. You're right. It only takes one. But going through all of this - you want more than ONE. Trust me.

Even the doctor on Saturday - when I asked him if he thought it sounded like I had enough eggs (statistically speaking), even he said, "well, it only takes one!". Chuckle chuckle.

No crap. It only takes one. It would have only taken one egg and one sperm for us to do this naturally and spontaneously. But that didn't work out for us too well.

And so ends my rant. I have consciously tried not to rant too much through this process because I know that most everyone is well-intentioned and their statements are certainly not meant to be hurtful or frustrating.

But when the doctor and nurse say it - well, I am just plain tired of hearing it!!! ha.

Thank you for allowing me to vent for a sec.

Y'all have a great Tuesday!

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3 comments:

Lisa said...

Yes it does only take one - but I know in my heart (and because you told me) you want more babies. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to be a little greedy in a time like this. I'm still praying for 9 - who knows - miracles happen!! MAybe you could be like the Duggars :) HAHA!! Love you both!! Hang in there - only 2 more days of waiting. Tell Matt to get one of those hand-held massagers to do the work on your rear!!

Hope said...

I am thinking good thoughts for you!!!!!!!!!!

H said...

You are funny :) I like you. But I will tell you this: if you have more than one, and TLC offers you your own reality show, DON'T DO IT.