Turns out I can keep a secret!

I'm obviously not good at keeping things to myself. My blog is a perfect example of that. But for me it's always been better to be candid and open - I don't know, it just works for me. I know, it's not for everyone.

So seeing as how I have a tough time keeping things to myself (which btw, only includes secrets about me, not about other people - so if you are a friend, I always keep your secrets!) - would you be surprised to know that I knew I was pregnant a full day before anyone else? And I didn't tell anyone - not even my husband?!!

Shocked me too.

I have to admit I almost busted out with the news several times but I wanted confirmation before I said anything. So anyway, I ended up being a bad girl and against my doctor's advice took a pregnancy test on Thursday afternoon. I don't know why, except that I just knew. My body was just feeling different and I wanted to know.

So I hightailed it to Walgreens, bought a massive box of tests, came home and took it. It wasn't even morning pee so I wasn't really expecting to see anything. So imagine my shock when I walked into the bathroom and saw a big fat plus sign staring me in the face. I was so surprised, I picked up the test with trembling hands, saw that little positive and immediately dropped it on the floor.

After 3 years of taking multiple tests and seeing N.O.T.H.I.N.G. over and over and over - I couldn't believe my eyes. I didn't even know my body was capable of producing a positive sign! Oh, but it is :)

Now it just feels weird to say "I'm pregnant". It sounds foreign to me, like it doesn't belong with me. I equate it kind of when you get married and your new last name doesn't seem to feel just "right" yet. It rolls off your tongue awkwardly for a few months until finally one day you don't turn around and look for your mother-in-law when somone calls you "Mrs. Clanahan".

Oh, and I already have symptoms. That is crazy to me! How your body can change so much overnnight is insane. All I can say is that this bloated belly (thanks to the nightly progesterone shots and the estrogen) is going to be in maternity jeans before I even get used to the word "pregnant". And I don't look pregnant. I just look and feel fat.

I always promised myself that if I did get pregnant that I wouldn't complain about the symptoms and would welcome them with open arms. Well, I think I kind of overshot that one a little bit because I am soooo complaining about it. Even though I'm grateful to be pregnant. I just have a hard time not complaining when I get nauseated just watching the Food Network. That's my favorite channel and it's ruined for me right now.

Anyway, enough rambling as usual - the stats from today's blood work are in. Levels rose from a 243 Friday to a 727 today! Everything looks great. Twins are still in the realm of possibility. We scheduled our first ultrasound for next Weds to check out how many are in there. And technically, I am 5 weeks along on Saturday. Seems weird since my transfer was not even 2 weeks ago - but they go back and calculate now from the 1st day of your last period. I'm like a regular pregnant person now! Except I go to the doctor 2-3 times a week to check out everything :)

So today was a good day. God is so good! Y'all have a great Monday. I'm going to go eat some pickle, cheese and cracker sandwiches now. Don't knock it till you try it. Oh, and I will do my best to think of something non-preggers/infertility related to blog about next time. Hard to do when I only get out to go to said doctor's appointments but I'll do my best!

And a little FF (Fun Fact) for you...if everything stays on course, my official due date right now is the 4th of July!

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Amy said...

I just started bawling reading this! I can't even begin to say how excited I am for you. And I can relate to the emotion behind that plus sign. You're just in total disbelief, right?? You discribed it so well too, like not being used to being married, that's a great comparison. And BLOG ALL YOU CAN ABOUT THIS PREGNANCY!!! I believe I can speak for all of your readers when I say just how excited I am to read every freakin detail!!!

Lisa said...

Meggie I'm just grinning from ear to ear and tears are streaming down my face. I can't say enough how thrilled we are for you both!!

And you can totally complain all you want. I laughed at the Food Network comment... oh girl... I still have weird adversions to chicken!

And YAY for the 4th of July!! I guess if its twins it will be earlier, but if its just one I think you might go past your due date. Sorry girl... but I think you are going to have a healthy little one that loves it in there!

Kami said...

I am so excited for you!!!! Isn't it so amazing that we've come this far??? I remember seeing those two lines. I screamed so loud it scared my husband and the dogs. LOL I can't wait to see how many are in there. I'm guessing two!!! Good luck!


The Wests said...

Hooray!!! You guys are going to make great parents.

H said...

I am with you: I've tried being one of those coy, noble silent and private people, but I'm just not that. I admire your ability to be your true self :) And go ahead and complain, you are allowed!!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations - so happy for you! P.S. check out my blog for an award nom ;-)

Sarah Z said...

Congratulations...I'm really happy for you both!

And you will complain. Its inevitable, and it's ok :)